Hi!

Yes, there's a good chance that you already irritate me. It's not that I'm hard to get along with. It's not that I'm not a good person. It's not that I don't like lasagna and lemonade. It's just that you're a really, really, really irritating person. And you may call me a small-minded person for letting you get to me. But to that I say this: I have plenty of spare room in my brain to devote to despising all that you stand for.

No, no, no. I don't hate anyone, really. As that one guy once said, "I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally." I saw that once on Jeopardy! and it stuck with me. Anyway, yeah, that quote sort of applies to my current mindset. It changes frequently. Sometimes I just like ponies and lampshades.

So, every now and then, I'll be posting what irritates me. And sometimes I'll just post random nonsense. I really don't care to explain myself. It's my blog, for all that's holy! You see, I didn't take our Lord's name in vain. I never do. Never. Well, once. When I hit my elbow on a chain-linked fence something-or-other. I don't really know what it's called. It hurt. Bad. Really bad.

Anyway, I'll leave you with some nice poetry now. I write poetry very quickly. Do try and keep up:

Amalgam for amalgam's sake;
For that is what watermelons wake -
Definitely pour some more milk onto my upper thigh,
For I have no want but to sleep like a llama.
Hark.
It is not what is but what was -
Sleepy sheep, see but a wink of Connecticut.
Help me.
I see green grass rolling up the lampshades of heaven.
Slap!